I am currently enrolled in a class at a university. It is Islam. I had my doubts at first, but one day, when we all were in class and I was listening to a Recitation of the Holy Qur'an, it felt like a burst of light and joy was coming from my heart. I literally had no idea what was going on, but I let myself feel it. I had tears streaming down my face, and it we were only about ten minutes or so into it, and the Sura was finished. The professor was done giving the example. I wiped my eyes and pretended nobody had saw anything - which was very likely, as I sat in the North East corner of the room (the Qibla, interestingly enough), and behind everyone in the dark.
I wanted to know: is there a place in Islam for me?
I am not ready to say that I am not Queer. God made me this way.
32.37 PICKTHAL: Who made all things good which He created, and He began the creation of man from clay;
If everything was made good - made well- then that means I was made well, also.
My term paper for this semester is, "Feminism, Queers, and Women in Progressive Islam," which the feminism part has proven quite easy, as well as the women part, however, I can't find much information on Queers, so perhaps a large portion of it may be my interpretation of certain verses.
Who knows.
By the looks of it, I will take my Shahada in front of others soon (in the Middle of October I took it alone). It just feels right.
But for now, I am here.
Peace,
Nadidah
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You could start by reading my essay on gay Muslims in the UK, which is available either at MWU's Sex and the Ummah, or on my website (with lots of gay Muslim links):
http://www.bayyinat.org.uk/radical.htm
Also try looking up Imam Daiyee or Siraj ul-Haqq/Scott Kugle- they both have written excellent things on the diversity of human sexuality, and alternative interpretations of scripture. Try also looking up Kecia Ali- she writes about Muslim sexual ethics, and she's altogether delightful.
My professor recommended Scott Kugle's writing, but I haven't heard of Imam Daiyee or Kecia Ali. Thank you for those names. I'm sure their works will prove to be quite helpful.
Hi Nadidah,
Despite all the homophobia, queer Muslims are becoming increasingly outspoken:
http://www.salaamcanada.com/
http://www.iman.org.uk/
http://somaligaycommunity.org/
http://www.huriyahmag.com/
http://hedonist.progressiveislam.org/?p=95
See also: Saleemah Abdul-Ghafoor, _Living Islam Out Loud_ (has an essay written by a Muslim lesbian), and _Voices of Resistance: Muslim Women on War, Faith and Sexuality_, ed. Sarah Husain (Seal Press, 2006), which has some material by lesbians as well.
But being a queer Muslim can be very isolating, depending on where you live. Queer women who convert tend to face not only homophobia, but sexist and racist attitudes from Muslims--and non-Muslim queers aren't always keen on them either for obvious reasons. You can end up "caught between closets," never able to be open about yourself no matter where you are.
I would suggest that you read as much as possible about gender and sexuality in Islam and Muslim societies. Talk to people, go to different Muslim conferences, mosques, etc. join a queer Muslim list and lurk for a while, and then seriously ask yourself whether you think that you want to put yourself through this. Are you ready for gender segregation (separate and often very unequal), stereotypical ideas of how women should dress, speak and behave? If you're not the quiet, "ladylike" type (i'm definitely not), do you think that you can resist the pressures to be that way and keep your self-esteem intact? If you regard female sexual pleasure as something to enjoy and celebrate, many of the prevailing attitudes among Muslims will probably shock you.
Why Islam and not the Metropolitan Community Church (MCC) or any of the many Christian fellowship groups for LGBTQ people?
Be sure that you know what you are getting into--and bear in mind that wherever you go, people will ask you why.
I just recently found your site and read some pretty disturbing material on a range of topics. I'm sorry to say this, but this entire site is terrible. I've been Muslim for several years now and I hate to read such disturbing things by Muslims. I will limit my comment to homosexuality in Islam, so feel free to post this where most appropriate because I lost count of the ridiculous articles available on this topic.
Before I became Muslim, I was bi-sexual and it was fun and also wrong. Astagfirullah. Islam showed me that the so called "fun" I was having was something that my very creator detested. You can argue all you want about how it's not clearly stated in the Qur'an if gay marriage, etc is allowed. It should be enough for you that a prophet of Allah forbade his people to engage in homosexual acts and it should be enough for you to know the very punishment of those people. Why is that not enough for you?
The truth is quite simple only you're too blind to recognize it. If you are truly pleased with your Lord and your religion Islam you will accept it completely; you will fight yourself and your base desires and stop searching so desperately to find the answers to all the nonsensical questions you overwhelm yourselves with. I would say I would pray for you but really what's the point because it's so obvious you don't want guidance. And I will say something no doubt you have heard countless times: Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change themselves.
If you continue to quagmire yourselves in the very mess you have created, Allah will leave you to destroy yourselves. Are you ok with that? Many gay/bi people change and for the better, we seek the help of Allah, we get married, have families and get on with our lives and when Shaitan uses our own sexuality as a weapon against us, we recognize it as just that and continue to fight. This site and open gay/bi Muslims in general are all disappointing in many aspects but the most prominent would be the fact that you are all announcing to the world "Shaitan has kicked my ass and I'm rather enjoying it".
Where is your self-respect, your pride? Where is your strength and where is your faith? Are you willing to spend your lifetime in pursuing a cause that is so grossly unjustifiable? You will no sooner find the justification of homosexuality in the Qur'an or Islam then you would find heaven on earth because it simply doesn't exist. Homosexuality was never intended to be a way of life rather an obstacle or trial in life. But no doubt you'll continue to abhorrently reject this notion so long as you continue to let Shaitan have his way with you. So, for the amusement of the Kufaar, carry on being Shaitan's puppet but when you're ready to cut the strings let us know and your Muslim brethren will be there to support you.
Oh, Nadidah, I always kept meaning to do this, forgive me for the lateness.
Welcome to Islam, sister. I've been praying that you grow in faith and knowledge.
How was your first Eid?
Peace.
"It's all very well going on about the human rights of this blasphemer--what about the rights of those who believe he should be executed?"
I love Jesus ... and Mo.
--hakim baker (disclaimer: I'm not Muslim)
homosexuality is not only condemned in Islam, it is condemned in most major religons; that being Christianity and Judaism. In fact their condemnation of it preceeded the Quran by some thousands of years. lets not even discuss where the Quran incidentally got all its sort of Christian, sort of Jewish parts....
Be that as it may, there needs to be a place where people can "talk" without being watched, or persecuted. At any rate. I am not too fond of homosexuality of any variety. And sort of support the direction each of the main religions take. However I believe that instead of persecution there should be reeducation.
I know it sounds silly right? But who has proven its genetic? It's learned isn't it? Most homosexuals have been habituated by someone while they were children.
That goes for female homosexuals too. Well I know it doesn't sound progressive, but its the best I can do and stay true to myself.
I know it sounds silly right? But who has proven its genetic? It’s learned isn’t it? Most homosexuals have been habituated by someone while they were children.
You can't "learn" to be attracted to one gender or the other, or both. Either you are or you aren't.
"Our integrity sells for so little, but it is all we really have. It is the very last inch of us. But within that inch we are free."
--Valerie, in V for Vendetta
As-Salaamu `Ala Filasteen wa Rahmatullah
Yeah, Lailah, who gave you hetero lessons? The problem that loads of people have when viewing the Other is that they tend to think of them as Entirely Other, with no connection to themselves or reality, often.
I don't want to get into any of the moral or religious arguments surrounding homosexuality, but I feel that both the 'genetic' and 'choice' arguments are specious. A 'gay gene' wouldn't propagate itself, and there's no evidence that homosexuality runs in families besides. However, I didn't choose consciously to be straight, so I have to assume there's similarly no conscious choice to be gay. It's most likely a combination of factors.
Genetics or choice?
There are many things that happen biologically that have nothing to do with genes directly. Homosexual males have 'feminized' brains: brains more like female brains. There are some proven and some speculative reasons why this happens in utero. Lesbians have brains that are more like male brains; again, the causes aren't well-known. There is no one gay or lesbian gene; apparently something different happens during fetal development.
There are all kinds of things that happen without obvious genetic cause and effect relationships. People are born with indeterminate sex organs: they don't look like boys or girls; we call them transgenders. Doctors disagree on whether surgery to 'assign' a gender based on the infant having either XX or XY chromosomes is the best remedy (when it is even possible). In addition, there are XY males born who look exactly like females: their bodies don't respond to testosterone and in the absence of the testosterone response, fetal development is female. These males even develop breasts and are often large-breasted and tall (yes, like supermodels). They don't ever have periods because they don't have a uterus, just undescended testicles. If no genetic testing is done, this is typically discovered when the 'girl' never has her first period. The undescended testicles are removed so they don't become cancerous.
Anyway, truth is stranger than fiction. Scientific knowledge is way ahead of what the popular media and the average person knows. Imagine the controversy if this ws taught in the public school system!
Don't judge until you have walked a mile in your brother or sister's shoes.
One of the delightful things about genetics is that it's rather a gamble, and that we are genetic quilts of genes switched on and off, degrees of dominance making for certain probabilities, but few things are certain. Also, note that not many people are completely heterosexual or homosexual; combine that with societal expectations to marry someone of the opposite sex and reproduce, it wouldn't be surprising if there was indeed a definite "gay gene". All depends on where the roulette wheel stops.
Innit grand?
I ve seen at least two specials on Nova or Discover that went into some detail to try and discover why one son, out of two is gay. Why does that happen? Well, it turns out it has to do with how the mother interacts with her eldest. And it even goes back to the environment (hormonal) of the womb. I mean there are so many variables!
I think whats scary to people is that they assume that when someone labels themself a liberal or progressive that means automatically that any and everything is therefore liberalized to that person and that just isn't so. I find that most often there are very few things I feel liberal about, maybe middle of the line, and perhaps even angry, but seldom totally liberal as in, "Do what feels good" sort of thinking. I take each subject at a time and think about it, given what I know, and have experienced, and I make a determination. Homosexuality is and it isn't going away, but to the degree that it has historically both been frowned upon by religions, and by secular bodies, why should I then say, "hey its okay?" I would rather think, there is something not so okay about homosexuality and then, try and see what might be. We know we have had many homosexuals closeted or otherwise in high ranking positions in governments all over the world, and in religious movement. I guess at the end of the day, homosexuality doesn't "add" anything to something, it detracts. Because it is a "sexual" choice. You can be homosexual and celibate, but then you wouldn't get those great benefits, and the right to marry. Why would homosexuals want to marry? When so many perfectly happy heteros are happy cohabitating, or do they get it wrong?
Oh I don't know. :-(
Homosexuality: Not a choice
I don't know what the Discover or Nova specials said, but it has been clearly proven that how a mother interacts with her sons does not make them gay. There is a little-known scientific explanation why the younger son is more often gay. Some women have an immune response to the hormone testosterone produced by the male fetus. The first male child is unaffected because the antibodies to testosterone were formed at a late stage of fetal development in low concentrations and don't affect fetal brain development. This is different for the second male child; now the antibodies attack the testosterone formed by the male fetus which affects his brain development, essentially feminizing him. After birth, normal physical male development takes place. This is one way that science has proven a biological origin for male homosexuality. Incidentally, an analogous problem takes place when the fetus is Rh+ and the mother is Rh-. The first Rh- baby is OK and any subsequent Rh+ fetus would be stillborn due to attack from the mother's antibodies reacting to testosterone. I say 'would be' stillborn, because doctors test for Rh incompatibility and give the mother a shot during pregnancy to prevent the immune response. I am giving this example because you can find a lot of research on this, but it will be difficult to locate the research on homosexuality.
This is not the only scientific explanation for why male homosexuality occurs; there are other less-understood mechanisms. In addition, lesbianism occurs and is even less well understood.
To Nadidah:
If homosexuality is evil or wrong, then it is massively unfair that God would allow this to happen. We are taught that God is Merciful, Compassionate and Supremely Just. We are also taught that promiscuity is not an acceptable way to conduct yourself. I am not an Islamic scholar, but it seems to me that if you stay celibate until you meet the one person you can commit to for life and then you remain faithful to him or her, that God will have mercy on you on the Day of Judgment because you were given an extremely tough row to hoe. Anyway, I hope that this is true. It seems to fit with scientific knowledge and with what we know about God.
There is a Hadith that states that Mohamed said that a man should not marry if he could not fulfill his sexual obligation to his wife. Was Mohamed referring to gay men or old men? It isn't clear.
It is important (as others have mentioned in this thread) that you understand yourself very well. It seems like you had a clear sense of conversion during your professor's lecture. It seems like God was making Himself known to you. If you are truly a lesbian and this isn't a reaction to abuse by males, then you have to make choices based on that knowledge of yourself. [If this is a reaction due to abuse, then please seek help.]
Please pray for guidance. God loves you. God created you. God wants you to be a good person and come home to Him at the end of your life.
Well, if you're liberal on very few things, but conservative on others, you may well be conservative overall.
And homosexuality may not add anything to your world, but being able to marry the person that one loves and desires means a great deal to many people. Some people are fine with cohabiting without marriage, some prefer the stability and convenience that marriage provides. It helps if you remember that folk who happen to love and desire someone of their gender are not substantially different from the rest of us. Therefore, you can generally count on similar hopes, motivations, and behavioral tendencies, no matter who one happens to love.
I can only say god makes gay Muslims and straight but I would like to say and hope you are truly gay. There are so many college students that think Islam is a toy and becoming is just rebelling against the christen parents and upbringing, if you are gay truly gay then be that and be happy. So many Muslims claim to be gay then the get married and have kid( bullshit).
I am sick of the flip floppers on the issue I am gay now no I am not, I am Muslim now I am not, don’t wear the title Muslim unless your sincere, don’t wear the title gay if in 7 years you meet Mr. right and he knocks you up and you get married. There is a good place in the Muslim community for queer folks but not poser! The figuring myself out is overused and outdated by so many muslims and non-muslims. You fuck woman or you don't that simple.
where is god Allah? if not in you and i.
I think you hit on something. I have heard so many boo hoo stories about muslim women marrying men who are closeted gays. it makes me sick. I was talking to a guy from Lebanon once and he said, that they take gays and run them out of town, or shoot them. I said, well if they run them out of town, every one doing the shooting probably was with them, that's how you identify them. There is a famous story in the Bible. Jesus is walking through town and hears a commotion and he sees Mary (who knows if its Magdalene) running from some men. They were going to stone her for committing adultery. She falls at the feet of Jesus, and Jesus picks up a stone and points to the men and says, "He who is without sin, cast the first stone..." No one did. Jesus knelt in the sand and began to write. The question is, what was he writing? Many think he was writing the names of the men, (the ones with the stones) who had slept with Mary and who were now blaming her. One by one the men dropped the stones and went away.
I have just heard another sister talking about a muslim brother who thinks he is gay. I see muslim men enjoying each other way too much. Sitting together, eating together, walking and talking together. I say, I guess closeness breeds a sort of connection. Too much male on male time.
I don't like gayness, and queerness especially right now when everyone is "Bi" and everyone is "experimenting" frankly it gives the belief that it is a choice a real jump start. Many of these same folks will want to settle down and have a "regular" relationship after sleeping around with everyone else. There are moments of depression, sadness, wierdness all sorts of things that our bodies do, our brains do, it doesn't mean its okay. That's why we don't kill everyone we get angry with. We can't act out because we feel its right for us. It may not be right for everyone else, it may be wrong for mostly everyone else. Why did God say that it is wrong for a man not only to have sex with another man, but to just spill his seed outside a woman? Meaning it was even better that a man visit a prostitute than masturbate! Because the hope of a child is better than no hope for a child and a future Ummah, or whatever...what if all of the males decided to be gay?
And who can fault muslim men for turning gay sometimes when I hear such horrendous things about what they think (are taught about women). Women are dirty, they smell bad, they bleed, they this, they that......come on!!!!!!
This is the sort of stuff I am talking about. Christianity and Judaism might agree with Islam on the idea (the orthodox) but they do have a means of handling it
that works better.
Oh well................................<a href="http://plugin.smileycentral.com/http%253A%252F%252Fwww.smileycentral.com%252F%253Fpartner%253DZSzeb008%255FZCxdm860YYUS%2526i%253D17%252F17%255F6%255F11%2526feat%253Dprof/page.html" target="_blank"><img src="http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/17/17_6_11.gif" alt="SmileyCentral.com" border="0"><img border="0" src="http://plugin.smileycentral.com/http%253A%252F%252Fimgfarm%252Ecom%252Fimages%252Fnocache%252Ftr%252Ffw%252Fsmiley%252Fsocial%252Egif%253Fi%253D17%252F17_6_11/image.gif"></a>
A ‘gay gene’ wouldn’t propagate itself
This is very true. After all, it is a well known fact that gay men and lesbians never marry and have children with opposite sex partners, nor any heterosexual relations at all, so there would be no opportunity for the gene to be reproduced.
"Our integrity sells for so little, but it is all we really have. It is the very last inch of us. But within that inch we are free."
--Valerie, in V for Vendetta
As-Salaamu `Ala Filasteen wa Rahmatullah
Oh, I love the photo! :-D
That is one of my fave movies!
"Our integrity sells for so little, but it is all we really have. It is the very last inch of us. But within that inch we are free."
--Valerie, in V for Vendetta
As-Salaamu `Ala Filasteen wa Rahmatullah
Remember, remember, the 5th of November, the gunpowder treason and plot. I know of know reason, the gunpowder treason, should ever be forgot!
V, V for Vendetta..
How could I ever forget it? ;-)
"Our integrity sells for so little, but it is all we really have. It is the very last inch of us. But within that inch we are free."
--Valerie, in V for Vendetta
As-Salaamu `Ala Filasteen wa Rahmatullah
Its 2008 or 1429 and still humanity is at race with sexuality. Is it because we understand it way too much or is because we have no clues.
We have no clues because of governance. By that what I mean is, what governs us morally, religion is the reason, otherwise all and everything will be ones own judgment, including homosexuality.
How many times one has taken matters into their own hand (masturbate) and only to frown upon it after the orgasm? If you are Muslim reading this, it may have had happened to you and reason to frown may have been, because NOW you had to perform Ghusl (Shower) instead of just washing your hands and areas affected by lube.
meandering through a plethora of self professed righteousness is not educational at all, since everyone is right. NOT.
religious zealots will tell you one thing and and the NUTjobs will profess different and we just continue head butting.
Homosexuality is not the only form of alternative sex. There are people with their spouses practice bestiality and enjoy it. Amongst themselves they may swap their Dogs or Horses, but would never admit nor tout about it anywhere else. That said. Why cant Queers or Homosexuals do the same. This is where I fail to understand the love of pleasure, to be reckoned with masses right in general.
Sweden, as recently as 2008 has abolished and made a law on bestiality, 2008!! While other nations have erected this law from few decades ago. USA has its own zonal issues, where as they differ from one state to another, and surprisingly enough, there is no law against bestiality go figure. But you will never hear anyone claiming to be born with skewed genes that wanna hump or get humped by a horse.
Its all in the pleasure seekers. How, where, what setting, aroma, size, posterior, upper, these are all preferences to our pleasure, because we were not made with the same preferences despite the fact running on the same OS (ROUH).
If you interested in becoming a faithful Muslim, than embrace this great religion as a woman, do so without implementing your love of pleasures. WHY? Because no one is there to watch you hump a Horse or another woman. If you do either, you will still be a human being and you will be judged on the day according to your deeds.
But stop trying to find a place within Islam or Muslims, asking us queers and straights to embrace you as Lesbian 1st and then as Muslim. We all have our inadequacies and we know whether we are sinners or not and I for one would say. I dont need anyones input in my life style, because the day that I am resurrected I will only answer to one call. Allahs. Thats it thats all.
We all Sin, difference is in a degree.
We are all One.
OK, after that sex-negative comment, back to our regularly scheduled tolerance.
Seriously, Nadidah, how are you? And have you seen A Jihad for Love?
That comment wasn't exactly sex-negative, more like it made me not want to have sex ever again.
It just made me really not want to have sex with kamalibra.
That was easy. "Not want to have sex with kamalibra" Hahaha funny a one line bandwagon. I would guess mentioning of beasts really got you going. however it seems like you completely missed my point since it was not painted in 2D-3D for you. Now look at this from outside in. Perhaps you may understand it better instead of crying ewwwwwwwwwww.
We are all One.
WTH? Anyway, Cypress, I'd say the comment was sex-negative as it trashed anything but potentially procreative sex. And that whole sexual diversity leads to bestiality canard didn't even get a new twist or anything. Some things are better when they are old - like grandmas, recipes, and music. Some, like weak arguments, just become pathetic.
WTH-F!! I think Kamalibra is trying to say or (I beg your pardon) is saying that, Homosexuality is not the only alternative sexual practice, I might add, there are S&M's and unfortunately all other kinds of Weirdos, who practice different types of SEX, but you will never see them announcing it and in need of acceptance from the public the way lesbians and gays do.
I also assume that he is saying, in all and every religions there are those who would be labeled as NOT Normal in their sexuality, however they are not assertive the way Queers are. So I support what kamalibra says. Become muslim for the fear of God and not another human being, because we are all Sinners. On the Yowmoul qayama, we will be judged accumulatively, all our bads and goods. However SIN is SIN irregardless and so is amongst heterosexuals as well before marriage...
Psssst: Too bad there is no PM button I would ask Kamalibra to PM me... hahahahahahaha.
Modern Pretty Young Thing.
My love is a sin.
What part of that previous sentence would not make a person want to leave Islam? If God is Compassionate, Merciful, Most Just, Beautiful, Wise, how could such a statement be true?
No, it is NOT about wanting to hump goats, which incidentally was "invented" probably the same time goats were domesticated given that the oldest written laws prohibit it (starting with the Sumerians and ancient Chinese).
It is about love. Have you never felt it? It cannot be refused. The great teachers of Islam describe their love for God with love for other people... it is a pure and powerful feeling.
So my love is not a sin, and I am not simply seeking new and better sexual stimulation. (If I was, I'd need to get laid in the first place, which I manifestly have not been doing.) I am 33 and by now I know who and what I love. I never once felt a single heart flutter for a man; I can't even tell which men are supposed to be the handsome ones most of the time. But women make my heart dance and sing. If that is not a sign from God, then there is something fiercely wrong with the universe.
Thanks, Cypress, for bringing this onto a higher plane. Have we become so obsessed with the letter of the law that its spirit is disregarded? Our Lord is one of Mercy and Love. I cannot imagine a Merciful Lord punishing the pursuit of the love and tranquility that is found in a caring and God-conscious marriage.
Just curious, has anyone seen the film "Love Jihad"? I was wondering what your thoughts on it might be?
I saw Love Jihad and well, It made me sad.
Allah loves us all, despite our preferences.
Hi! I'm new here.. but anyways, yours is the first post I read.
Umm, well in reference to your dilemma, I think there are 2 sorts of bad approachs Muslims seem to take towards Islamic tennets, especially those they conflict with-
1) They try to be hardcore and grow up ruthlessly justifying every strange and dangerous belief that they've been told is Islamic. I would give, as an example, educated people I know who believe that stoning to death is a prescribed punishment in Islam
2) Those that whose only purpose is to assimilate easier into society and the current standards in thought and ethics. Not a bad thing at first glance but terribly dangerous and detrimental when you consider the insincere momentum such a movement could gain, and lack of limit to this type of attitude (in other words, where does it stop? and at what point do we completely abandon the concept of objective truth?)
I think my comment is too long, but I was just going to say, in reference to Muslim homosexuals, I think people should adopt an approach that is sincere, and is NOT like either of those mentioned. I think I personally kind of agree with Lailah's view ...