Bismillah Preface
The communal reaction to a Sunday afternoon lecture (taleem) delivered at a Ash Shaheed Islamic Center in North Carolina in May of 2006 served as the motivation for this publication. At that time, a well-respected and learned Imam visiting for the weekend appeared to trivialize the possibility that a husband could “rape” his wife . Neither he nor I realized how wide is the gulf that separates those who characterize forced sexual intercourse within marriage as rape; those who believe that the institution of marriage affords husbands free access to their wives at any time, under any condition; and those whose ideology places them somewhere in between. Neither of us, I’m sure, was aware of the extent of pain and ignorance that exists around this issue among both Muslims and non-Muslims. As with other human affairs, religious teachings (including those aligned with Islam) often greatly influence the extent to which wives are viewed as individuals with agency and choice in regards to how their bodies are used or as property to be controlled by their husbands. In response, Islam & Sexual Violence attempts to:

(1) address, foremost using the Qur’an and other Islamic religious resources, what appears to be profound ignorance and confusion about the reality of marital rape, or forced marital sex – both within Muslim communities and the larger society.
(2) encourage dialogue among Muslim women and men about the nature of marriage, spousal privileges, gender justice, and the language we employ in our descriptions of the directives Allah(SWT) has established for the development of healthy communal life.
(3) empower Muslims who have been victimized by both physical and ideological attacks to gain the courage and support so that we may relate to others and ourselves with the justice, peace, and freedom that lies at the core of the revelation given to the Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alei wasallam).
(4)help eliminate the “climate of fear and ignorance that makes family violence possible” as articulated in the mission statement of Baitul Salaam Network, Inc. (1)

Islam & Sexual Violence will be issued as a series of pamphlets, each edited by me, an African American Muslim scholar, who herself is a survivor of marital rape that occurred almost 30 years ago. Due to the prevalence of husbands as the perpetrators, this work will use “marital” rape to mean “wife” rape. As with most of my research, its primary audience is African American Muslims, particularly those associated with the leadership and teachings of Imam W. D. Mohammed and The Mosque Cares, thought it is written to be accessible and of assistance to all Muslims and other interested groups. Imam Mohammed’s community is my focus, not because the need for awareness is greater, but because he is my spiritual leader and it was through his community that I made a transition to Islam in 1998. Following the model of the Prophet Muhammad (SWT), Imam Mohammed continues to demonstrate great sensitivity and compassion to issues affecting the well being of women.

As the initial consideration – Beginning an Encounter with the Reality of Marital Rape – is not intended to be an exhaustive, historical study. Rather, it is organized as an opening conversation about a controversial, personal, and complex subject, and as an encouragement to Muslim communities to reconsider our responsibility to the varied forms of domestic violence Muslim women and children encounter. I hope to extend thoughtful rationale for the consideration of forced sex within any marriage as “real” rape with punitive consequences. Even though rape is about control and power – not sex and pleasure – and husbands often employ physical and material weapons to dominate their victims, I am aware that my goal is not a popularly held view. As Rape and Society: Readings on the Problem of Sexual Assault makes clear:

For most people, forced sex in marriage has little to do with what they would call ‘real’ rape. When they think of ‘real’ rape, they think of a stranger, a weapon, an attack, a threat to a woman’s life. Forced marital sex, on the other hand, conjures up an unpleasant, but not particularly serious, marital squabble. . . [To wives/victims] marital rapes were frightening and brutal events that usually occurred in the context of an exploitative and destructive relationship. This sexual abuse was only peripherally about sex. More often it was about humiliation, degradation, anger, and resentment (2).

The material presented here is derived from a number of sources – textual, oral, and internet-based. Initial research drew to me other Muslim women who have battled and/or are battling marital rape perpetrated by men, who according to the Qur’an, are to be their “protectors,” “maintainers,” and “garments” with whom Allah (SWT) has placed for them “friendship and mercy.” (mawadda wa rahma) (They will share their stories in a future edition.)

I take full responsibility for what follows, and any errors therein. I extend sincere gratitude to those whose intellectual engagement and/or personal experience contributed to the publication of Islam & Sexual Violence, in particular Dr. Kecia Ali, Professor Pamela Cook, and Dr. Laury Silvers. I also value the insight and thoughtful feedback provided by Imam Khalil Akbar of Charlotte, NC, and Imam Oliver Muhammad of Raleigh, NC, who responded to early drafts. May Allah (SWT) receive our efforts as intended – to move Muslims closer to fuller human and spiritual development as we strive to live out our destiny of submission to our Creator and critically reflective interdependence with each other.