humor

With my usual gusto and willingness to swim upstream, I'm seeking to have a birth experience with a minimum of medical intervention. No person, including me, can really control birth, but we can control the choices we make and the professionals whose help we seek, for the most part. Alhamdulillah, I've a midwife whose care philosophy includes, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it", a precept that I wholeheartedly agree with. However, I had to erase the following from my birth plan, as she thought the nurses (or an OB, if my midwife gets held up) wouldn't like it quite so much.
1. Episiotomy: you cut me, I cut you. Capisce?
2. No, I don't want an epidural. But if you're offering pain meds, my sis would like a vodka and tonic.
3. As you didn't pick the position in which I conceived, you don't get to pick the position in which I will give birth. You try to muscle me into some uncomfortable position, you'll be sporting a foot-shaped bruise.

When life comes at you funny, you've got to laugh. Between the constant need to pee or eat, a soon to be ex who keeps finding excuses to call, and hunting for baby knitting/crochet patterns that won't nauseate me all over again, occasions for a good belly laugh abound, even though my life, some might say, is a wreck.

Being a single mother-to-be and domestic violence survivor is definitely serious business, but it's not a death sentence, nor will anyone benefit from me treating it like it is one. I have my life, one that is going through lots of changes as I seek to provide someone else with a life. But there are many women with more responsibility, more challenges and fewer resources. Who am I not to pray for them, be grateful for what I have, and yes, even enjoy it?

To make your own comics:  Go to http://monkeydyne.com/rmcs/buildmeat.html

I just got back from a trip to South Africa.  I would like to confirm that indeed the stars are different on the other side of the world, the water goes down the drain in the other direction, the sun arcs on the other side, and penguins live in dirt not on ice! 

It was CRAZY!  Bands of marauding penguins ruthlessly hunt down defenseless bunnies!  And men and women pray side by side in a mainstream mosque without jumping each other for sex in the middle of the salat!

Insha'Allah, I'll be posting about my trip in several parts over the next few weeks.  I plan to write on my trip to a Muslims girls' school, the Muslim Youth Movement, women doing gender activism, profiles of some extraordinary people, and cultural dissonance.

On You Tube, watch it before it gets taken off for copyright purposes or something like that:

 
Part 1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tu2-lXDe2to&mode=related&search=
Part 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmSAYyTKD0o&mode=related&search=
Part 3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4SH-vxBZEo&mode=related&search=
Part 4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsOH7Kmmfrs&mode=related&search=

Every year we hear ridiculous insults, stupid questions, naive lunacies, and straight out racist bull. Lets collect the worst and funniest stuff said about Islam and Muslims this year. Put it in the comments section. Then we'll sort out the top 10 lunacies said about Muslims this year, put them in a poll and let readers vote on what is the absolutely most stupid and insulting thing said about Muslims this year!

Collect them all!

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President Ahmedinejad is set to star as the Sterling Hayden character "Jack D Ripper" in a remake of Stanely Kubrik's black comedy masterpiece "Dr. Strangelove." The film will be updated for today's headlines and the title changed to "Dr. Strangelove: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Holocaust Denial."

(warning spoiler follows)

Jack “Ahmedinejad” Ripper, a delusional Iranian President, executes his plan to strike Isreal with Holocaust Denials, in order to thwart a Zionist conspiracy which he believes threatens to "sap and impurify" the "precious bodily fluids" of the Iranian people with street food falafels disguised in baguettes rather than their usual identifying pita. Ripper convinces everyone at the Tehran Air Force Base that Iran is in a "shooting war" with Isreal, and orders the 843rd Holocaust Denial Wing (which is then airborne in a training exercise called "Operation An-An") past its fail-safe points and into Isreal. Mulla Nasruddin, a cleric participating in an "exchange program" with the Iranian Airforce, suspects that all is not as it seems when he turns on a radio and hear government sponsered Qu’ran recitations instead of Defense alerts.

Maybe someone should tell this good neighbor that Muslims agree one should not kill and eat pigs, but rather race them at county fairs. I mean, duh! 

Houston suburb angry over mosque plan

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p>Some residents object to plan; neighbor threatens to hold pig races The Associated PressUpdated: 3:24 p.m. ET Dec 7, 2006

KATY, Texas - A plan to build a mosque in this Houston suburb has triggered a neighborhood dispute, with community members warning the place will become a terrorist hotbed and one man threatening to hold pig races on Fridays just to offend the Muslims.