infidels

This week it happened again.

A Muslim buddy of mine called me a "Muslimah in the closet." Before that, I've been referred to as an "honorary Muslim," "Muslim-in-the-making" and even "Sister Natalia."

I used to respond to these kinds of statements with a mixture of bemusement and fear. I have spent a couple of years now making myself acquainted with Islam and its many representatives. I've bonded with some and argued 'till I frothed at the mouth with others. I've traveled to the Middle East, and wore Christian Orthodox-style hijab when I visited the Mount Nebo holy site (and still felt the eyes of horny men on me... as if hijab actually makes a difference, ha!), and then wrote an entire article about how much I wanted to ride public transportation in Amman, but couldn't, because every woman on the bus wore hijab and trying to pass myself off as Muslim to fit in seemed dishonest at the time.